Blog Post #100!!! What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up?

"Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t." -Baz Luhrmann Lyrics - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

My oldest son is constantly changing his mind as to what he wants to be when he's older. I've heard Marine, Ninja, Pilot, video gamer (ha!), Professional Basketball Player, Naval Officer in charge of a submarine, the list goes on and on. Last week the hubby and I went out to dinner (just the two of us) and the topic of college courses came up. We both start classes in Aug & Sept., he for his Masters, me for my Bachelors. I've been going to school to become a teacher or counselor.... This past school year, with my oldest in 1st Grade, I realized this is not the path I care to pursue anymore... It seemed like everyday he came home from school I was re-teaching him what he'd been taught in class for his homework... I couldn't imagine doing this everyday for 20+ children! My hat goes off to teachers worldwide, it takes a very calm, patient and understanding individual to hold such a position. I on the other hand, quickly realized I only have these attributes to a small degree.

When I was younger I toyed with the idea of being a vetrinarian. That thought was squashed when we had to put my first dog to sleep when I was 9 years old. I couldn't imagine being the person to perfom such an action to someone's loved one/childhood campanion.

When I was 13 I saw a boy on my street come home from his high school in an Air Force JROTC uniform. My interest spiked and I knew then that I wanted to join the Air Force. (My family has Navy and Army background). In high school I joined AFJROTC and Civil Air Patrol. I wanted to be an Air Force Pilot. (my old screen name was even IWANNABANAFPILOT... Yea I know I'm a nerd).... The summer before Senior year I was picked to attend a leadership course in Camp Pendleton. This was a gathering of dozens of students from dozens of school across California attending classes on Del Mar, meeting a Medal of Honor recipient, several higher ups of the base and Air Station (4 of us girls even received a challenge coin from the SgtMaj of the Air Station, this is something I still have and carried with me all throughout boot camp and returned to the base a year later and gave him one in return), an AmTrac ride, weapons viewing, base tours, and 5 am wake up calls for PT. By the end of the course I was hooked, I wanted to be a Marine. I had the opportunity to receive an Air Force scholarship and go to college and become an officer... I went in another direction.... My parents were pissed! (Looking back now, I see why, hindsight is 20/20). I signed up for the Delayed Entry Program late that summer (2001) and caught shit for it from my parents, teachers, and a few friends. They were voicing their concerns, not saying that I couldn't hack it, but that they did not like the idea of me joining the Marines, my boyfriend at the time even went as far as to say he was afraid something bad was going to happen to me.... Boy were they right! There are days I wish I'd listened to them and there are days I can "see" that through it all I now have two amazing little boys and a loving husband that would otherwise not exist if things didn't happen as they did.  My plans were to enlist, go to college and then put in a package to become an officer, a "Mustang". I joined, grated boot camp in the top 5, came home for leave and didn't know that within a couple weeks something horrible would happen to me tat would eventually be the end of my just beginning military career that I had worked towards for over 6 years.... I was medically discharged and was eager to keep moving forward and attempt to forget all that happened 3 months prior. (It still haunts me to this day and I just continue to put it as far deep in my memories as I can). I landed an office job a week after returning home but it just wasn't the same. It didn't fill that void I was left with, nothing could. 10 months later hundreds of people were laid off, I was one of them. At this point I was married to my oldest son's dad and landed a job from home searching for people who had money coming back to them from their foreclosed homes. I loved this job and worked from home for 1 1/2 years. After that it was various part-time jobs and college courses. All while being a single mom.

I moved to NC for someone (it didn't work out, juicy/fucked up story there and maybe if I'm drunk enough one night I might write about it). With the move I knew I wanted to work on base. Even with all that happened to me I knew the entire Marine Corps was not as fucked up as the command/Marines were at SOI/MCT. I was able to use my VA disability as additional points toward the GS hiring process. I was eventually hired in as a GS employee in 2008 and was one until 2 months ago... I know I want to work as a GS employee again, but I'm not sure in what aspect. As a Marine I was suppose to be an MP. (Yeah, I know "f'in" cops, lol) but that has always been an interest of mine; law, investigations, the mind set of the accused..... And then on the flip the switch and I also LOVE photography.... Never when I was growing up did I say I wanted to be a Stay at Home Mom.... Rather it was, I'm never getting married, never having kids and am going to travel the world while serving in the military... Hahaha, silly girl... Tell God your plans and listen to him laugh. However, my best friend Steph grew up saying she WANTED to be a SAHM. And boy did she knock that one out of the park! She has 3 beautiful children, a gorgeous well kept home and a hubby that connects so well with her. She cooks mouthwatering meals (I'm happy if we don't have takeout or hamburger helper more than 3 times a week), is active in the kids PTA, and has style and class to be envied! I swear I need to pick her and a few other BF's brains as to how they manage all this....

I know when I do go back to work I want to be doing something that A. Provides support to our Veterans or B. Provides support to active duty member and their families. Exactly what the career path/choice will be, I'm not sure.... Exactly what courses I need to take for said career, I'm even more unclear. The hubby has stated I need to pick up a Job Description Book and tab all the ones that strike my interest.... Ha Ha Ha! I'll take a picture of this when I do because I'm sure there will be numerous career ideas marked!

BIG THANKS to all my readers out there! 100 blog posts and still going! :)