21 May 2013

To Move or Not To Move? My back and forth dilemma...

For hours.... Possibly even days I have been scouring over various rental websites... My sweet husband has dealt with me (put up with/ignored) for over a year now complaining (nagging/throwing a fit/refusing to clean up after anyone but baby and I for days) about our small house. 1,000 sq ft. 2bdr, 2bath. Of course it took me having another kiddo and becoming a stay-at-home mom to truly SEE and FEEL how small it is...

I bought the home for my oldest and I three years ago. It was PERFECT for just he and I. A year later, my now husband, then BF, moved in with all his "stuff". Forcing me to reevaluate the furniture layout/sell off furniture/almost reconsider our entire relationship just to have MY home back!!! But through many glasses of wine and deep breaths I managed to adjust to having him and his "stuff" in and throughout the house... Marriage a few months later and a year after him moving in... Baby joined us... A two bedroom with a school age child and a baby... Unable to move for another year (unless orders came) because I had taken advantage of the first time home buyers tax credit, 3 years in residence or pay $8k back to the IRS... We've stayed. With baby 2ft away from us every night for the past 13 months...

Now he has been PCA'd to Lejeune. 50 miles/hour away. But with this comes work ups for a lengthy deployment later this year. 

My dilemma is this: 

1. Move to a much more roomy home in a wonderful community, with a great school, easy access to so much more than is around Cherry Point.
2. Be closer so we can actually spend time together as family and not have him put in 100+ miles a day or stay overnight during late nights/early mornings.
3. Take a big cut on our after bills paid money that goes toward paying off the mortgage and truck faster/savings. 
4. Still able to pay everything off within the 5yr plan I have set up.
5. Not actually knowing anyone out there. (Support system/friends we've known for years are here).
6. Baby will have his OWN room and not sleeping within 2ft of us! 
7. Sucking it up a pushing forward with the moving process/getting the house ready/finding a renter.
8. Not delaying the inevitable and having to try and find a place that will accept our German Shepherd during a "non-prime" PCS season next year.
9. Longer summer for the man-child which will give us more time to do more and possibly go out to Cali to see family and friends.


Staying Put:
1. Stay here in our bursting from the seams home and finish the work that I've wanted done to it for awhile now.
2. Not being able to see my husband and spend time together as a family daily, mostly on weekends if a training permits.
3. Being close to friends that have become family over the years.
4. Continue to bitch and complain about the lack of room.
5. Ability to pay off everything within 2-2.5yrs.
6. Not having to suck it up and deal with the moving process/getting the house ready to be rented/finding a renter just yet.

Yes, I wrote out a much longer, more in depth Pro's and Con's list to us moving or staying. Ran numbers for current pay, deployment pay and when he gets back for all of our bills renting or staying and the possibility of us not finding a renter. Financially we're good all around, but I always factor in the what if's and Murphy's Law... My husband calls me a negative Nancy when I do this, but his ass will be half a world away when Murphy likes to pay his "Husband's Deployed Time to Reek Havoc" visits that I am left to handle.

He's dead set on the house we looked at this weekend. I love it as well too, buuuut then I find myself going through the list of what needs to be done and all I want to do is curl up in a corner with a bottle of wine and a book and pretend that list doesn't exist.

What to do, what to do???


  1. I say go for it! Reading this post you seem unhappy in your current living situation. An opportunity has arisen for you to escape that house... TAKE IT! On another note, I always take into consideration the most important part, "How will this affect the family life." If you stay in the house your husband will have a much longer commute and may have to stay nights over sometimes. That cuts into family time. And what if he has to stay over in a hotel or barracks? That might be extra money spent that way. I say go for the new place!

  2. We, too, are looking for a house probably to purchase sometime early next year and I have those same lingering feeling, doubts and questions. I know how you feel, but think sometimes you do just have to go for it. But ask me this again as we get closer and I will probably just as conflicted if not more!!

  3. If it were me, hands down I would go wherever my husband goes. Simplify your life, get rid of things, take the extra time to finish up your home to rent out, enjoy your new home and time with your husband and family before deployment. Keep your head up. You can do it.

  4. I would move. I see that you are both well grounded and know what you need and how you can achieve it. Moving will suck but the stress you are under now isn't good for any of you. And imagine all the "snuggle time" with your hubby before he leaves if the baby has his own room! (:

  5. I'm not sure if each state is different when it comes to FHA loan but when we bought our house in 2010 we only lived in it for a year. We didn't have to pay the $8K back because being Active Duty.
    I think you need to be happy in your home...and if that means moving...then its time. We have had a really good experience renting out our home but that was just pure luck. Whatever you end up doing I'm sure it will be the right decision for your family.

  6. I just wanted to say thanks a bunch for the follow back on Bloglovin'! I appreciate it! Hope you have a wonderful night :o)

  7. You can do it my friend! :) Everything will work out and be ok.

  8. Personally, I would want to move. It sounds like a perfect time to find a new house. Good luck with your decision!

  9. Every minute you can have together now you will treasure when he is gone. You will regret the moments you could have been but did not take advantage of. In this life you will live in many "homes" You will spring clean and donate unneeded items over and over again. The houses and the material possessions become temporary. The love and time together are the glue! six months into this deployment, I would live in a shack, an apartment or a trailer. I would live anywhere go anywhere just to be with him and feel his arms and love! Follow your love woman! :)

  10. Aww. Good luck with that decision. As much as I hate moving, I think I might make the sacrifice. Your friends still won't be too far away, and knowing you, you'll meet new people instantly.

  11. I honestly have no clue which route I would take. Having friends and support close by when your husband is deployed would be a big deal to me. Of course, having more room would be a big deal to me as well.

    I can see how your decision is quite difficult to make. Thanks for sharing with us your thoughts and feelings. :)


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