To Move or Not To Move? My back and forth dilemma...

For hours.... Possibly even days I have been scouring over various rental websites... My sweet husband has dealt with me (put up with/ignored) for over a year now complaining (nagging/throwing a fit/refusing to clean up after anyone but baby and I for days) about our small house. 1,000 sq ft. 2bdr, 2bath. Of course it took me having another kiddo and becoming a stay-at-home mom to truly SEE and FEEL how small it is...

I bought the home for my oldest and I three years ago. It was PERFECT for just he and I. A year later, my now husband, then BF, moved in with all his "stuff". Forcing me to reevaluate the furniture layout/sell off furniture/almost reconsider our entire relationship just to have MY home back!!! But through many glasses of wine and deep breaths I managed to adjust to having him and his "stuff" in and throughout the house... Marriage a few months later and a year after him moving in... Baby joined us... A two bedroom with a school age child and a baby... Unable to move for another year (unless orders came) because I had taken advantage of the first time home buyers tax credit, 3 years in residence or pay $8k back to the IRS... We've stayed. With baby 2ft away from us every night for the past 13 months...

Now he has been PCA'd to Lejeune. 50 miles/hour away. But with this comes work ups for a lengthy deployment later this year. 

My dilemma is this: 

Moving:

1. Move to a much more roomy home in a wonderful community, with a great school, easy access to so much more than is around Cherry Point.

2. Be closer so we can actually spend time together as family and not have him put in 100+ miles a day or stay overnight during late nights/early mornings.

3. Take a big cut on our after bills paid money that goes toward paying off the mortgage and truck faster/savings. 

4. Still able to pay everything off within the 5yr plan I have set up.

5. Not actually knowing anyone out there. (Support system/friends we've known for years are here).

6. Baby will have his OWN room and not sleeping within 2ft of us! 

7. Sucking it up a pushing forward with the moving process/getting the house ready/finding a renter.

8. Not delaying the inevitable and having to try and find a place that will accept our German Shepherd during a "non-prime" PCS season next year.

9. Longer summer for the man-child which will give us more time to do more and possibly go out to Cali to see family and friends.

OR

Staying Put:

1. Stay here in our bursting from the seams home and finish the work that I've wanted done to it for awhile now.

2. Not being able to see my husband and spend time together as a family daily, mostly on weekends if a training permits.

3. Being close to friends that have become family over the years.

4. Continue to bitch and complain about the lack of room.

5. Ability to pay off everything within 2-2.5yrs.

6. Not having to suck it up and deal with the moving process/getting the house ready to be rented/finding a renter just yet.

Yes, I wrote out a much longer, more in depth Pro's and Con's list to us moving or staying. Ran numbers for current pay, deployment pay and when he gets back for all of our bills renting or staying and the possibility of us not finding a renter. Financially we're good all around, but I always factor in the what if's and Murphy's Law... My husband calls me a negative Nancy when I do this, but his ass will be half a world away when Murphy likes to pay his "Husband's Deployed Time to Reek Havoc" visits that I am left to handle.

He's dead set on the house we looked at this weekend. I love it as well too, buuuut then I find myself going through the list of what needs to be done and all I want to do is curl up in a corner with a bottle of wine and a book and pretend that list doesn't exist.

What to do, what to do???

What is a Military Wife?

I had a friend message me this poem to share on my FB page. It is far too long for a status and far too perfect to simply post as one! This poem says it all! 

What do you think?

From the Author:

I wrote this polyphonal reading (i.e. “many voices”) while stationed in Minot, North Dakota for a wives’Induction Ceremony. Every line is inspired by real Air Force Wives who, along with other military spouses, are a breed of their own. We don’t all want to be “married to the military,” but we are, defacto, and no matter how involved or not we are in “his” world there is much we have in common.

To the spouses who are men, my apologies for leaving you out of this piece. Your own sacrifices include ours plus some, and we are grateful for your brave and humble presence among us.

The piece is designed to be read by four ladies, reader’s theater style. The form reflects the delightful variety among Military Wives as well as the spirit of cooperation and community that binds them together.

If you aren’t military, I hope it gives you a window into our lives, and inspires you to reach out to that new neighbor who is “just temporary.” You will be richer for it.  ~Jane

  

What is A Military Wife?

By Jane Hubbard Hyde~2005

What is a Military Wife 

A Military wife can be tough to describe.

She is a southern belle,

 a Northeastern Mets fan, 

a California 3rd generation recycler, 

a Pacific Islander.

She is short or tall

a tomboy

a fashion diva

a physician’s assistant

a Republican

a Democrat (yes, even THAT!)

A Military Wife is a career gal

a home-schooler

a scrap-booker

an accomplished cellist

an auto mechanic

So many

many 

many kinds

What is a MILITARY Wife?

They may look different 

and each is wonderfully unique

But they have THIS all in common.

lots of moving—

moving, 

moving, 

moving far from home

moving two cars, 

3 kids and 1 dog

-all riding with HER of course

moving sofas to basements 

because they won’t go in THIS house

moving curtains that won’t fit

moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours

moving away from friends 

moving toward new friends

moving her most important luggage; 

her trunk-full of memories

often waiting-

waiting, 

waiting, 

waiting for housing; 

waiting for orders; 

waiting for deployment; 

waiting for reunion; 

waiting for phones calls;
waiting for the new curtains to arrive;

 waiting for him to come home
for dinner -AGAIN!

They call her “military dependent”, but she knows better

she can balance a checkbook

handle the yard work

fix a noisy toilet.

She is intimately familiar with drywall anchors, and toggle bolts.

She can file the taxes, 

sell a house, 

buy a car, 

or set up a move, 

–all with ONE Power of Attorney.

She welcomes neighbors that don’t welcome her.

Reinvents her career with every PCS; 

locates a house in the desert,
the arctic, 

or the deep south 

and learns to call them all “home”.

She MAKES them all home.

She is fiercely IN-dependent.

Military Wives are somewhat hasty

They leap into decorating, 

leadership, 

volunteering, 

career alternatives, 

churches 

and friendships.

They don’t have 15 years to get to know people.

Their roots are short but flexible.

They plant annuals for themselves 

And perennials for those who come after them.

Military Wives quickly learn to value each other.

They connect over coffee, 

rely on the spouse-network 

accept offers of friendship and favors 

and record addresses in pencil.

ALL Military Wives have a common bond.

The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands

 his commitment is unique 

He doesn’t have a job, he has a “mission” 

he can’t just decide to quit 

he’s on-call for his country 24/7 

but for you, he’s the most

UNreliable guy in town!

His language is foreign

TDY

PCS

OPR

ACC

BDU

And so, a Military Wife is a translator 

for her family and his.

She is the long-distance link to keep them informed, 

the glue that holds them together.

The Military Wife has her moments—

She wants to wring his neck, 

dye his uniform pink, 

and refuse to move to Siberia.

But she pulls herself together.

Give her a few days 

a travel brochure 

a long hot bath

a pledge to the flag

and a wedding picture,

And she goes.

She packs.

She moves.

She follows.

Why?
What for?

How come?

You may think it is because she has lost her mind.

But actually it is because she has lost her heart.

It was stolen from her by a man

who puts duty first

who longs to deploy

who salutes the flag

and whose boots in the doorway remind her 

that as long as he is her Military husband,

She will remain his Military wife.

The Newlywed Game {Bloggy Style}

1. What is your spouse's favorite animal?
Mr. B: You like Dolphin's (No I don't) What do you mean you don't like dolphins, I don't like dolphins, everyone likes dolphins....   
Mrs. B: I'd say your favorite is dogs
Mr. B: That's bullshit what kind of question is this, are we talking about pets, animals, mythical animals? Sasquatch? 
(I think he's annoyed he didn't think of my fav as being dogs....)

2:What does your spouse do..what's their occupation? Explain as much as you possibly can.
Mr. B: Full time Stay At Home Mom and Blogging Extraordinaire.
Mrs. B: Combat Engineer but right now he's in a position that doesn't let him get out and actually do his job.... He's stuck behind a desk, in meetings, and fixing dilemma's throughout his company.

3: Who is your spouse's favorite pro sports team?
Mr B: The White Sox and the Squeelers....  
Mrs. B: The Cubs & DA BEARS.

 4: If your spouse could retire anywhere, where would they choose?
 Mr. B: Probably want to retire at a nice plot of land farm house, body of water.
Mrs. B: I say he wants to retire somewhere still close to the city. (He responded with nope, somewhere up north away from mother f'ers)
 
5. What is something on your spouse's bucket list?  
Mr. B: On your yearly bucket list I have to meet your parents. And you want to go to Tahiti.  
Mrs. B: He wants to travel throughout Europe  

6: What is your spouse's favorite candy or sweet?
Mr. B: Malibu & Pepsi 
Mrs. B: Jelly Bellies!!! 
 
7:What is something your spouse would love to have in their dream home? Like a specific room they want, etc.?
Mr. B: A scrapbook room and an office.
Mrs. B: A garage where he has room to work/ a mancave & crossfit room.  

8: Who chose the wedding colors? You or your spouse? What were they?
Mr B: You  
Mrs. B: Me, a pretty teal white and khaki.
 
9: If your spouse could only watch one movie over and over for a week, which one would it be?
Mr. B: Something with Julia Roberts or by Nicholas Sparks. 
Mrs. B: Rocky or Rambo or something along those lines.
 
10: If your spouse could teach a monkey one trick, what would they have it do? 
Mr. B: Take care of the baby. (I don't think so, probably fold laundry)
Mrs. B: Oh gawd.... lmao....to get him beer.

The Newlywed Game {Bloggy Style}

1. What advice would you give a friend who found out that he/she is getting married?  
Mr. B:What kind of question is this? You don't just find out you're getting married, unless it's an arranged marriage. Which in that case tough shit.

Mrs. B: Ha.... Odd question to ask, or odd way to ask what it really means...
 
2. Do you have a pet name for your spouse? If so, What is it?  
Mr. B: I call you babe.

Mrs. B: I call him hunny bunny sometimes.... Other times it's nasty, disgusting and all time favorite, from when we first met, Jerk-Face. (This stuck when he told me a week after we met that he was deploying in 2 weeks).
 
3. What are 3 things your spouse cannot live without?  
Mr. B: hahaha.... You? Coffee, computer, Iphone

Mrs. B: Him,  Gym, Guns, FOOD.

4. What is your favorite date idea? (Something you have or haven't done)  
Mr. B: That sunset sailboat ride was pretty cool.

Mrs. B: Anything where I'm not checking in on the kids every 30 min.... (has not happened yet).
 
5. Is there a book or movie that reminds you of your marriage? If so, which one & why?  
Mr. B: Not yet.

Mrs. B: I can't honestly think of one that catches all of our interests and lives....
 
6. Rate the very last kiss you had with your spouse. How was it on a scale of 1-10?  
Mr. B: Man WTF are these questions? So cheesy... But I'll give it a 7.

Mrs. B: Morning kisses before coffee are not my thing.... 6-7.... He responded with: that's so bullshit...
 
7. What was the very first thing you noticed about your spouse when you first met?  
Mr. B: Oh my god she's normal, not like the other f'in dates I met on here (online) She looks like her pictures.

Mrs. B: Height, body... Smile :)

8. What was the very first gift that your spouse ever gave you?  
Mr. B: Oh this is hard... I'm really trying to think really really hard.... I don't know I can't remember...

Mrs. B: HE got ME a very large teddy bear from FAO Schawtz when we went to NY. 

After talking about it.... He remembered I got him some movies that he watched back at his place.
 
9. Is there anything you sacrificed when you married your spouse? If so, What?  
Mr. B: I'd have a lot more guns that's for sure... I don't know, I'm still pretty much able to do what I want. Just no..... WTF is up with these questions. They put you on the spot. (My response, that's the point of this game).

Mrs. B: Room in our house.... That drove me crazy at first...
 
10. What would your spouse say is the funniest photo of you? Try & Describe the picture & post it below!

Mr. B: GOD I hate being put on the spot like this... I'd be horrible on a game show.... Hold up let me scroll through facebook real quick....

Mrs. B: While he does that.... I think the funniest picture of him is when he and our oldest were at the Aquarium and he was acting like he was going to throw him in with the alligator.The oldest didn't find this too funny and thought he really was going to do so.

Mr. B: That's a good one. With the blue frosting on our face. And not too embarrassing...

Mr. B: Alright next one

Mrs. B: That's it.

Mr B: What? Man screw this I'm going to go online and

                                             start finding some surveys that are longer...

The Newlywed Game

1. Who does the laundry in your home, you or your spouse? Any good stories?
Mr. B: We both do. My wife shrinks my expensive designer clothes
Mrs. B: Both. Gas Chamber clothes are all on him though and he pisses me off when he puts his sweaty PT clothes on the floor.

2. If your spouse had to eat at one restaurant for the rest of their lives, what would he or she pick?
Mr. B: Food.... This is like a loaded f'in question right here.... There is never one mainstay no matter what mood she's in that she'll eat.
Mrs. B: Chef's 105. (Where we went for our reception and anniversary).

3. Are you or your spouse better at cooking? Any good stories?
Mr. B: Oh I'm better at cooking.... Let's see what story do you want, the rice pilaf that tasted like poop because she left the spice pack out, or the welcome home cake that was a muffin shaped rock....
Mrs. B:...... He is.

4. Which one of you is more concerned about their "fashion"?
Mr. B: I would say she is for the most part. Me I'm good with a North face shirt, pair of Sevens pants, Patagonia, and my chucks.
Mrs. B: Depends on what's going on I guess.... I'd say he is, unless we're going to an event then I can never find anything decent to wear....

5. Ideally, if you don't have them already, when does your spouse want to have children?
Mr. B: N/A
Mrs. B: N/A {We have two awesome boys}

6. Who planned dates when you were dating? And what was one of your favorites?
Mr. B: I didn't know anywhere around here, so she mainly planned them. New York City for Thanksgiving.
Mrs. B: I did. My favorite was Jamestown over Easter, when I first met his family.

7. What's been the toughest part of being a newlywed?
Mr. B: Having a baby after 9 months of being married, deploying a month after getting married.
Mrs. B: Still learning how to live "together" and not independently.

8. Who is the best with the finances?
Mr. B: Her.
Mrs. B: Me.... I track every little penny....

9. Who is the strict one?
Mr. B: We share that responsibility.
Mrs. B: ...... I'd say I am.... He's lax on a lot of things.

10. What will you plan to do for your first anniversary? Or if you've already celebrated your first anniversary, what did you do?
Mr. B: Chef's 105 for dinner
Mrs. B: Chef's 105 AND was able to drink since I wasn't 2 weeks preggers!!!

BONUS QUESTION: Assuming you were expecting something a little special for Valentine's Day (as in y'all planned on doing something, giving something, etc), how did your spouse do? Share it! Again, PG people, please.
Mr. B: We had s*x, but I had to work for it, I just traveled 17 hours and she was complaining that it was 230 in the morning and had a rough day with the kids and was waiting up for me the entire time....
Mrs. B: SMH..... He did great, drove up 17 hours and walked up at almost 3am with champagne, a card, roses and a pandora bag (that had a charm with the infinity symbol on it).... But ya I was exhausted.... ;)

Mr. B: Next question. 
Mrs. B: That's it. Only 10 questions.
Mr. B: Well damn, I was just getting into this and usually I don't like these question games...

♥Our Valentine's Day♥

♥He got in around 230am after driving for 19hrs! It was so amazing to fall asleep in his arms and wake up with him by my side! Even if we did only get a couple hours of sleep before the man-child needed to get ready for school and baby woke.... ;) ♥

For lunch we went out to Panera Bread in MHC. Nomnomnom! Then we went by a couple gun shops to get him a gun that he's been wanting, but unfortunately with the way things are going in our country they had very slim pickings and what they did have was doubled/tripled the amount of what they were 2 months ago... :(

♥Card Jake made for S.Daddy, Mikey's hand print for daddy, drawing from us to Jake for Valentines Day.♥

♥From my wonderful husband for Valentines Day. He walked up at 230am carrying all of this in.... New Pandora charm for my bracelet, with Infinity symbol. GOSH I love him!!!♥

♥12x12 Painting I made for my love. (Notice the infinity symbol?)♥

♥Our Love can do anything I will love you Forever & Always. Middle of painting.♥ 

 

30 Before 30

I love this idea! 9 days ago I turned the big 2-9.... With 30 {gasp} being, now, less than a year away, I've put together a list of 30 things I want to do before I hit the big 3 OH!

1. Introduce my husband to my WHOLE Family! (That's right, with everything gone as it has in the past year, he has still not met my brothers, mom, S.Dad, S.Mom, grandparents, etc.... Only my Dad!) 

2. Spend a whole weekend alone with the hubby at the beach or mountains or both!

3. Master 5 new dinner dishes.

4. Go to a concert.

5. Organize and backup (3rd type of backup) ALL of my pictures.

6. Read 30 books.

7. Complete the remodeling projects inside our home.

8. Attend a White Sox game at their home stadium.

9. Attend a Steelers game- ANYWHERE!

10. Go to San Francisco and drive across the Golden Gate Bridge. 

11. Have $20,000 or more in just savings.

12. Visit the Grand Canyon.

13. Watch the sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean.

14. Go horseback riding for the first time.

15. Go to a day spa.

16. Visit 5 different wineries.

17. Go to Germany to visit my best friend who I've known since I was 2.

18. Watch the Rose Parade in person with my children and hubby (if he's not deployed).

19. Go gold panning with my oldest.

20. Start and finish an entire year scrapbook of our baby.

21. Take my oldest on his first seadoo ride.

22. Eat at a restaurant that serves 5 course meals.

23. Complete 10 projects from Pinterest.

24. Go skiing! (Haven't done so in 8 years and I miss it!)

25. TONE my body instead of just losing weight.

26. Paint a large canvas with hubby and our boys.

27. Help 50 Military Spouse, Veteran and Military Supporting Businesses get noticed!

28. Go to a musical/play

29. Fully understand the operations of my camera and go out to enjoy my hobby of photography.

30. Get a bigger house that fits our family!

Let the stress begin!

Looking back on the holidays when I was a child, I now understand why the women folk of the households were always in such an uproar. Whether we were traveling or having everyone over at our homes there is just so much STUFF to prepare for, ESPECIALLY when you have children! Just thinking about it all right now makes me want to go back in time to being a little kid and running around without a care in the world (other than winning a game of Pretty Pretty Princess)! 

I have been volun-told by the hubby that he, his brother and I will be preparing Thanksgiving dinner this year. His mom isn't feeling so well, and she STRESSES to the max with every single holiday out there, so we pulled the Grandson Card out her. She will have to spend time with little man because they haven't seen him since a few days after he was born. But this will be taking place AFTER we have driven to DC to drop the man-child off and then fly with baby to Chicago. Wednesday is going to be a loooong day, with an early wake-up call on Thursday for cooking.

Here's the thing though. They are a Polish family. She makes authentic Polish dishes.... I have NEVER heard of ANY of the dishes she made for Christmas last year..... Here is what I need.... PRAYERS!!!! She of course has recipes written out and the guys have already stated half of the dishes will not be made because they don't know how to make them either. She is set on the hubby making a certain dish (cannot recall the name) and that it's about time he learns it and makes it. Luckily the guys have decided to Deep Fry the turkey this year so that will free up some oven space and time. It will be all of our first time having/making it deep fried (prayers needed there too)!

It is our first Thanksgiving together as a married couple, last year he was deployed and the man-child and I enjoyed Thanksgiving with a few other deployed wives on base. As for Black Friday, we may go out in the morning or afternoon. But for whatever reason I'm just not "feeling" it this year. I have gone every year since Junior Year of high school, maybe I'm just "getting old". ;) 

What are your Thanksgiving plans? Have you ever had deep fried turkey?

***September Recap***

 We celebrated our 1 year anniversary with a dinner at the same diner we went to for our reception. Gave each other our gifts, his a 1911 mine a beautiful Pandora bracelet with charms. 2 days later we went out and enjoyed his gift with a few other toys.

Hubby's first time shooting one handed rapid fire

She has quite a kick to her!

Mikey enjoyed becoming a big 5 month old

Jake had a Cowboy Day at school

My big boy turned 8!!!!

Jake got a birthday ride on the back of a cool Harley

Daddy and son worked on adding new parts to daddy's rifle

My new Living Locket came in the mail

Hubby's shirt for the Marine Corps Marathon came in

Jake and his buddy attended their first Tae Kwon Dow class

Mikey got a new bed/crib and slept in it for the first time

I bought a bunch of goodies for the boys at a consignment sale

Mikey woke up happy and well rested after his first night sleeping in his crib

He ate sweet peas for the first time and sat in his high chair for the first time

Jake had a sleep over with his buddies and had a blast

Love

Is it possible to love someone so much that you feel like you fall more in love with him as each day passes...? We celebrated our 1 year Wedding Anniversary yesterday. All throughout the day I kept thinking about how much we have been through together over the past 2 1/2 years and everything that has taken place the past year alone.

Proposal ♥

 Finding out only 2 weeks before the wedding that we were expecting (and scared as hell of losing yet another baby, but not getting my hopes up until after we passed the all clear time frame) ♥

Marriage ♥

 A deployment (Blah!)

While on Deployment

Lego Fest

Part of his Deployment Attire ;)

Finally home!

Travels to see family in Chicago ♥

 
Birth of our absolutely perfectly healthy baby boy ♥

Resigning from my GS job and becoming a Stay At Home Mom to our two boys ♥

Going to Cali to visit family and friends ♥

Going to DC For 4th of July ♥

Various events with the hubby's work, beach trips, fun trips out with the kids, lots of relaxing around the house and our oldest son starting 2nd grade! ♥

 We spent our 1st anniversary doing house work and day to day activities during the day. Went out to dinner in the evening to the same restaurant we went to for our wedding reception. Afterwards we had the house to ourselves..... And he surprised me with a Yummy $50 bottle of champagne.... We enjoyed every bit of it, snagged some Dairy Queen for dessert and eventually strolled down the street in lovers fashion to collect our kidlets from our good friend a few houses down. ;)) Got them to bed and then curled up together watching  Taboo and then again eventually to each other in bed..... Sigh..... Absolutely purrrrr-fect. ♥