Motivation Monday!!!

The baby is out and the "leftover" weight is still there. I hit 152.8 this morning! Yay to another pound down. Water intake has increased 8-10 cups a day is what I am at now.... I hate drinking water though... Unless it is practically frozen cold! So my glass is full of ice to the brim and then topped off with water. all.... day.... long.... I think I am pee'ing more now than when I was pregnant.... I made two healthy dinners this weekend. Both of which were amazing and both of which I have posted under my Recipes tab. You won't be disappointed if you try these meals! So, it has been smaller portions, not caving in to every single "BAD" food item I can get my hands on, light cardio and walking, breastfeeding, and the motivation to get that body back I had at 17 and could squat 300lbs, run 21min 3 miles, and had a completely toned stomach.... Ok well, maybe not 17... Maybe more like 23 or 24.... Back when I weighed 120-130.... But honestly I will be happy to just lose 9 more lbs. 143, where I was when I found out we were expecting. I was happy and healthy and not stressed out. In all honesty, since moving to NC 4 years ago I have put on 20lbs! (29lbs now including the leftover baby weight). It's so much more laid back here, not a whole lot of hussle and bussle.... Back in Cali I was ALWAYS on the go, between work, family, friends, party's, get-togethers, bonfires, beach trips, you flippin name it! Sigh.... I do miss California at times. Now my motivation stems from my husband. He is a fitness and health nut. His body looks good year round. (I'm not complaining, I'm just use to letting go around the holiday's... hahaha... And I'm not use to having someone else be the "pretty one" in the relationship, hahaha). He's going to help motivate me and he's already been working on keeping me in line food wise too. My own personal trainer. ;) hehehe. I'm still only 3 weeks postpartum so I cannot do a whole lot. Walking, legs and butt exercises that minimally use my tummy muscles is what I have been doing. I'm not allowed to lift and do tummy workouts just yet, but when I am I will be more than ready!

Broiled Tilapia Parmesan

Another great & healthy meal for the family! Tilapia, Rice Pilaf and Caesar Salad. 

Ingredients

1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons butter, softened
1 tablespoon and 1-1/2 teaspoons mayonnaise
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon dried basil
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon celery salt
1 pound tilapia fillets

Directions

Preheat your oven's broiler. Grease a broiling pan or line pan with aluminum foil.

In a small bowl, mix together the Parmesan cheese, butter, mayonnaise and lemon juice. Season with dried basil, pepper, onion powder and celery salt. Mix well and set aside.

Arrange fillets in a single layer on the prepared pan. Broil a few inches from the heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Flip the fillets over and broil for a couple more minutes. Remove the fillets from the oven and cover them with the Parmesan cheese mixture on the top side. Broil for 2 more minutes or until the topping is browned and fish flakes easily with a fork. Be careful not to over cook the fish.

Makes 4 servings.

Baby Talk

Since the birth of our son Michael I have probably slept more now (throughout the day) than when I was in high school on summer vacation... :P Sleep when baby sleeps they say. Yes, this is all fine and dandy until there are piles of laundry that have not been attended to, whether they need to be washed or put away.... Or just general cleaning and straightening up. This small house is going to drive me bonkers for the next year, I'm sure of it.

We finally have everything I wanted to get for the baby. And with my bargain seeking self, all of the items (Swing, bouncer, pack n play, large wooden bead maze, playmat and jumperoo) put together were under $150, thank you yardsale website! There is still one thing we need to get.... A crib. We decided on one months ago but have chosen to wait until he outgrows the bassinet to get it (space restrictions being the key culprit in this decision).

Okay, since his birth he has gone through a large amount of diapers.... I could actually go through the app on my phone (what to expect baby tracker) and count them all up by the days, but it has been anywhere between 6-12 diapers a day. Luckily a number of co-workers, friends and family pitched in and bought us quite a few things of diapers and wipes! We did find out that his little bum does NOT like huggies wipes! Nor do I for that matter. They were very rough and tended to "fall apart" while lightly wiping. Pampers sensitive wipes have been the best. Pampers diapers have also been my favorite. We have used luvs, huggies, parents choice, and pampers. With my first son luvs was the best choice, and might be once baby Michael is mobile. For now I choose pampers. In doing so I went and registered on their website and automatically received a $1 off coupon which is nice to use at the commissary because it brings it down to $8-$9 a bag. Plus they send you coupons and free samples! :) I'm all about free stuff, especially for baby. What else is great is that you can use the codes on the inside of the bags and receive points through their Pampers gift to grow rewards. After X amount of points you can trade them in for goodies. Another great site I registered at is Strongmoms.com, they too send you goodies, free samples and coupons. Most of their items are Similac based items. Which is nice because that is what we use to supplement during travels and some middle of the night feedings after I have already pumped. They send you lots of goodies and of course coupons! Other items I use are Lansinoh's gel pads, breast pump, breast milk storage bags and their storage bottles. I bought the nipple cream thinking I would need to use it because my nipples were pretty sore, but after using the gel pads I found no use for the cream and returned it (unopened/unused of course). The double affinity breast pump is a God send!!! Match that up with the hands free breast pump bra and you're set. (I happen to be typing this, with two hands, as I pump milk to store away.) Multi-tasking at it's finest. :)) And will come in handy if I go back to work too! In with the shipment of the hands free bra there were several advertisements for items for moms-to-be and breastfeeding moms. One that caught my eye is an at home milk screening test. It says that it is for moms that want to "enjoy the occasional or celebratory drink." By putting your milk on the test strip it reads if there is any alcohol present. WOW! Milkscreen.com. I have been craving me some wine...... Sigh.... No major celebrations coming up until 4th of July (My favorite holiday), by then I'll have enough saved up to enjoy some drinks and just pump and dump that evening/morning. I have about 20 bags of 5-6oz frozen breast milk saved up so far and currently have 30 more to fill. Trying to save up as many as possible in case I do go back to work at the end of next month.... Still a revolving conversation in my head because I'm unsure on what I want to do.
I went to my work 3 times this past week with the baby.... I miss it but at the same time I know I'll miss more with the baby and our oldest. I keep going over the budget. Sometimes hoping something there will show that I HAVE to go back to work... But all the work I did with the budget, bills and building a decent amount in savings before he was born has made that as an excuse that cannot be used.... I know it is my own unsupported fear in not having employment but it is a fear that (to me) is difficult to get over.

Other great sites to use are TheBump.com and WhatToExpect.com. Both of which I have been registered at for years and have great information, blogs and question and answer sessions that are great for mommy's and mommy-to-be. I'm finally able to start back up on light workouts. Sparkpeople.com is a site I've used for a little over a year and it is great! I use it via my comp and my phone with their apps. Meal tracking, workout tracking, healthy meals, workout programs for me to follow and groups that go hand-in-hand with my interests and life that I can seek motivation from and give motivation to others. Blogs to read on food, struggles, being a mommy and fitting in workouts, etc. This helps me keep me accountable to get back down to pre-baby bump weight. 10lbs to go!!! (And then toning it up). I will do this! :))

Low Carb Chicken & Broccoli Casserole

I made this meal this evening for the family and it was a complete hit. It was devoured. (I would say make a bigger serving if you have boys.... This went well for me, hubby and 7 year old son, but the hubby needed more carbs because of his intense workouts and talked about having this over rice). I'm trying to make more healthy and family friendly meals. Next one will be something made with Tilapia.... If it turns out to be yummy I'll post it. :) Enjoy!

Ingredients:

1lb boneless skinless chicken breast

1 package frozen broccoli, broken apart

1 can reduced fat cream of mushroom soup

3 tablespoons fat free mayo

1 cup reduced fat shredded cheddar cheese 

Directions:

Boil chicken breast until done and drain .

When cool enough to handle, cut into 1 inch pieces

In a square or round casserole dish, mix mayo and soup.

Add broccoli and chicken and mix well.

Sprinkle with cheese.

Bake at 350 for 20 min or until cheese is melted. 

Serves 4

Thirsty Thursday~ Baby's Meal

Breast is Best <3

*~*Wordless Wednesday*~*

This has been keeping me busy all afternoon. Lots of paperwork to sign and seems like even more that I had to find from the last loan! Oy! But so worth it to go from 5.65% to 3.85%!!!

Connection Through Dreams?

The past week or so I have been having some very detailed, strange dreams. Each one had a person in them that I "used to know". Strange because I haven't spoken to this person since last year. Just prior to getting married and finding out my husband (fiance then) were also expecting. It must have been last July or August. I'm sure most of the dreams I've had have a lot to do with whatever show or movie (mainly action shoot 'em up shows/movies) I had been watching prior to going to bed, but to have this person, who was my best friend for years, play the main character out of blue in my, almost always, vivid dreams had me in a bit of a funk. I told my husband honestly about these dreams, in which he was not too pleased to hear I was having them. They were never anything "riskay" always just conversations, having the kids together, or weird undercover CIA operative missions in another country kind of dreams. Hahaha, yea those ones usually ended with me waking up in a pool of sweat from running like crazy in my dreams. I am surprised I have never woken my husband up. When I was younger I was told I would talk, walk, scream, hit, you name it, while I was sleeping. Hopefully I have completely grown out of that!

I've always viewed dreams as some sort of connection with the person you are dreaming about. Today I got my answer to these strange dreams. I had been under the impression that my old friend was gone, deployed for a year tour, and then these dreams had me thinking that maybe something bad had happened. Thank goodness (apparently, since I don't really know because we no longer talk) nothing happened, as today I saw his vehicle go by. But it makes sense why the dreams were occurring... He made it back stateside. We use to be able to finish each others thoughts and statements, and would attempt to contact each other at the exact same time from states away, a connection that many would see as us having known each other all our lives... It was the universes way of saying that all was well with him and he made it back alright.

Another portion with dreams and connections are what many call deja vu..... This happens with me at least once a month. Where one dream will mix with the conscience world and low-and-behold I'm having a conversation with someone that I had in my dreams nights or weeks before. I use to keep a dream journal and write down everything I could remember in the exact order it happened when I first woke up and then try and study the "meanings" behind each one. There were many interesting findings in doing so. I may have to start writing my dreams down again. :)

All human beings are also dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together. -Jack Kerouac

Mixed Emotions

The past few days have been a balloon of hormonal emotions that finally popped yesterday.... Tears from an unknown source began rolling as I tried explaining to my husband my thoughts and feelings. He probably thought I was crazy.... I tried pinpointing the cause of it all and it just seemed like it was little bit everything over the past couple weeks all rolled into one. Not working, thinking about how much I miss going to work (yea I said it, I miss going to work), feeling guilty about thinking of work with my newborn son laying in my arms, feeling guilty that I am not helping "provide" for the family at this point in time, feeling guilty that all I want to do is sleep because little dude is on a 3 hour eating schedule which means mommy is up every 3 hours to feed our little chubster. :) Being emotional due to lack of sleep.... One would say boot camp is difficult with the stress they put you and your body through. Having a newborn can be much the same as going through boot camp. Think about it. They run you ragged on little sleep, if you have fire watch, otherwise you get to sleep 5-6 hours straight. (Unless you sneak your writing material in bed to catch up on letters or study or do rack PT to get in even better shape.... Yea, I did all of those). Then there is the stress on your body. Pregnancy and birth and postpartum all have these stresses on shaping your body for birth and delivery and then after the shape your body is in causes you to immediately stress on getting it back to the way it was before the baby bump. Yes pregnancy, birth and postpartum can easily be compared to boot camp, and then some (as it does not end at the 3 month mark, it never ends, for as long you are alive you will always wonder, stress and worry about your little ones no matter their age). I know this just from seeing my mother, father, grandmother stress over each of their children and children's children....
 
I need more sleep.... I need to stay awake to feed the baby... I need to lose at least 10 more pounds but am so damn tired that even walking to the bathroom seems like a damn Olympic event to me, hahaha.... In which case I'd get a gold medal for for the obstacles I have to cross in the middle of the night to get there:  squeeze by baby bassinet, feel my way around the corner of the bed because that shit hurts when you catch your quad on the corner or your toe on the foot of it. Scoot feet along to feel for dogs and then carefully step over and around them, feel for next corner of the bed, feel for corner or dresser, then bathroom door, shut door and turn on blindingly bright light and then relief! lol Gold Medal earned indeed.

Ok, back to mixed emotions... The hubby went back to work on Friday. I was a wee bit jealous of him... Then I felt guilty for being jealous of him going to work and me staying home. That's when my emotions started to go haywire for most of the weekend. I found myself in bed for most of it, feeling a bit depressed and only getting up and out to take care of baby and Jake and his friend who he had begged earlier that week to have a sleepover with. The hubby was wonderful, he cleaned the entire house and would check in on me to see how I was feeling or if I needed anything. I kept thinking about going back to work and talked to him about me being on the fence about it. Of course this conversation made me bust into tears. I know that he would be well cared for at the child care center on base, but it would be by someone else, and how much of his growing would I miss? Would they know what each cry means? What each facial expression stands for? That just because he spits the bottle out the first couple times and makes a disgusted face doesn't mean he won't take to it and eat..... Would I be able to take breaks to go there and feed him from me rather than the frozen breast milk I have already started saving up just in case....? My eyes well up with tears even now just typing about it.... It was nice with my first man-child. I worked from home from the beginning of the pregnancy until he was 1 1/2. I was able to bring in a good amount of income and I felt I was doing my part on helping provide for the family. Now, though, I have a career away from the home and it is something I'm not sure if I am ready to give up for the time being. The husband says he supports whatever decision I make, but really wants me to stay home... He even stated he thought I was willing to do to what it takes for having a baby, including not going back to work.... That one hurt, but he was right.... Sigh.... he even made a not so subtle statement about when he went on his run he saw a group of mommy's out there with their babies working out and had their strollers for runs or walks.... He knows how badly I want to "automatically" be back to prepregnancy weight. I am only 10lbs away from it, thank the Lord for breastfeeding! He is such a health nut, one would question how we mesh so well.... I send him to the gym and eat cookies or chips while he's off working out... hahaha.... Actually it is nice with the breastfeeding and still eating (almost) like I'm still pregnant.... Hungry all the time!!! I started back last week on a website for healthy eating and exercising that I have been frequenting since 2010. Hopefully that will be able to get my butt a bit more motivated to do what needs to be done. They had a really good article on there about how stress can be the route of evil with weight gain or lack of loss.... Stress has always caused me to lose too much weight... 125 looks way too skinny for this 5'7 gal. I'll be happy to be in the 130's or mid 140's again. Nice warm weather would be helpful motivation also. I have been drinking so much damn water too... Which has been very helpful with producing mass amounts of milk and has been the culprit of waking up to soaked through bras/pads.... Lay a towel down, feed baby immediately and then go back to sleep, no time to worry about milk matted sheets at 3am. Oh the infinite joys of motherhood. :)) Must catch some Z's while little man is still sleeping :) Until next time!

 

Music Calms the Soul....

Wordless Wednesday {Linky}

Milk Please :))

Wordless Wednesday: Birth of Our Son Michael

Smiles (with a spinal block)

In action

He cried before he was completely out

Almost!!

Welcome to the world Michael Richard Butta!!! 17:41  5 April 2012

My first view of Mikey

Daddy cutting his cord

First Kisses from Mommy

Daddy's first time holding a baby. His Son Michael (I cried so many happy tears seeing this!)

First picture with daddy and mommy

How much do I weigh?

Big Boy!!!

My first time holding him!

14 Hours & Counting......

Should I be in bed? Yes! Can I sleep right now.... Sadly, no..... My head is spinning and tummy has become a bit upset from being anxious..... Tomorrow we will go in for the scheduled c-section and bring our son Michael in to the world..... My eyes begin to water at this thought.... They are of course happy tears. Tears of joy and accomplishment that everything with him is good and healthy. That he will soon be in our arms. That I will have been able to give my husband, my love, my everything a son to carry on his name. That my oldest son is excited to have a little brother "finally" as he has said. That my previous miscarriages were just God's way of making me appreciate this little man inside so much more. This pregnancy was nothing like my first, there were many rough points and tons of more pain, but I would do it all again in less than a heart beat to have what will happen tomorrow take place, his birth. I look forward to looking into his eyes, to hearing his first cry, feeling his body against mine, smelling him, kissing his cheeks, hands, little toes..... My God, we're having our son tomorrow!!! It will be the first baby my husband has ever held, HIS son will be the first baby he has EVER held.... I cannot wait to see this. To see that proud daddy look on his face.... I know he will make a wonderful father. Less than 14 hours now..... I must attempt to sleep, especially with many nights to come of little sleep.... Sigh.... It is all going to be so worth it. :) Nigh night!